Under the Weather

The wings were done and I had moved on to the grass and twigs and the flowers. Just started placing them, too. This was a dragonfly commission for my stepsister Deborah's Christmas present. On Friday, it fell and broke into pieces. It was heart-breaking but knowing I couldn't salvage it helped so I didn't spend time agonizing over how to fix it. Emotionally, I moved on from this in relatively short time. I'm so glad I started it early in case of problems. Now I still have time to make another one.  But even that disaster hasn't managed to completely break through a general malaise I've been suffering with for weeks/months. 

I haven't felt well for a long time now and some days during the past couple of months were pretty bad. Daily migraines, hives, joint pain (especially in my right hand, wrist & shoulder) and a progressing sensitivity to light have all conspired to make my life extremely unpleasant. I'm finally feeling somewhat better but emotionally, I'm drained. I haven't had much inspiration for creating anything with all this beautiful glass, the pretty beads or gorgeous smalti. 

Considering all the symptoms, I don't believe it will be difficult to come up with a diagnosis of Lupus. I didn't put it together until the hives just started driving me crazy with the itching. They always start in my ears, too. What is up with that??? Anyway, the hives coupled with this progressive worsening of light sensitivity was what finally sealed the deal, in my mind anyhow. Went over to WebMD (great place, btw) and looked at the list of possible culprits. I figured it was just a stress thing until I saw the photophobia. Yep, I dislike bright lights because I do know that they're going to cause me to have a migraine. I HATE to get behind someone with a rear windshield that slants just right. It's like it beams the sun directly into my right eye piercing my head with a railroad spike. In moments, I've got a killer migraine. Wish my sunglasses were darker and wrapped around the sides! Now, I just need a formal diagnosis so I can get whatever medications will get this under control. Maybe it will give back my energy and enthusiasm that I've been seriously lacking in recent weeks. I sure hope so. I'm tired of being tired. The lack of focus has made it difficult to stay on task, too.


As I pull myself out of this dark hole I've been living in, I'll try to get back into the blogging mode as well. Everything has just sort of stopped in its tracks - me, in particular. I'll try to do better from now on. I think knowing, or suspecting, will make it easier for me. We'll see. Wish me luck and I'll let you know when I get more information.