Mélange Art Glass

SAMA Conference Attracts Snowbirds!

2011-02-23T10:30:00.002-06:00

I met Karen and Victor Ruddy my first evening of the SAMA 2011 conference – that was Tuesday evening after registration training. They were sitting at a table outside watching folks come and go. Victor spoke to me as I passed. I smiled and responded. Within moments I was seated at their table and we were deep in conversation about the conference and all the upcoming events.

Victor and Karen are snowbirds from Iowa wintering in south TX. Karen had heard the conference was being held here in Austin and they made a spur of the moment decision to attend. We talked about the various workshops still available, great places to eat and things they should see and do while in Austin. I left them discussing the possibilities. The following week was a blur and I saw Karen only once over the next few days. We both attended Sonia King's Substrates, Adhesives and Materials workshop.

Saturday afternoon I ran into the Ruddys again just as they were getting in their car for the drive south. They were “conferenced out" and ready to get back to normal. Victor told me that the Austin SAMA conference was one of the best run conferences of any kind he’d ever been to and that we were all just the nicest folks. He insisted I tell “whoever runs this thing” and I did pass it along to Dawnmarie.

The conference was a major achievement in more ways than one and we should all be proud of our individuals parts in it. We never know who is watching or when we'll have an impact on someone. The Ruddys left here with pleasant memories and excellent impressions of SAMA and Austin and the wonderful people that make up both. I'd say it was definitely a success!

Preparing for Martin Cheek

2011-02-09T12:14:00.001-06:00

I'm still somewhat giddy over yesterday's opportunity to help pack smalti for Martin Cheek's upcoming smalti classes at Artisan Stained Glass. He will be teaching a beginner class this coming weekend - Feb 12-13 - and an intermediate/advanced class Feb 20-22. Yes, I got to fondle all the gorgeous smalti and drool over the wide selection of colors! Ah, the golds were just stunning and the vintage ones were so cool. WANT!

We poured different colors into buckets, mixed them pretty thoroughly then scooped the mix into 1 lb bags. It was fun and we all daydreamed about the mosiacs we'd create using these wonderful tiles. A particular vintage gold made me think of Erté and his long, lovely ladies. I can't begin to describe the old rich look or that bumpy texture but you'd get it if you saw it. Very art deco! Makes me wish I'd have taken some pictures of it all while it was spread across that 4' x 6' table.

Martin also sent a bunch of his fused glass creations over for use in those upcoming classes. I did take a few pictures of them. Mainly because I'll be taking his class this weekend but I have absolutely no idea what I want to make for myself. Everything I've ever made has been for sale, or it's been a gift for someone, but this one I'm keeping. Oh yes, this one's just for me! So, now I'm stumped for a design concept because I'm not used to thinking in terms of what I like. I do know that I like butterflies. They make my heart and spirit soar! But I don't know if I'm ready to tackle something that difficult in a short 2-day class. OK, I have to stop worrying about it or I'll get nauseous; I'm so not prepared. I'll probably just go with the flow and pray for divine inspiration.

Yes, I have a plan!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Martin Cheek:
http://www.martincheekmosaics.com/

For Artisan Stained Glass:
http://www.artisanglass.us/home.html

For Erté:
http://www.erte.com/

A New Year and a New Dilemma

2011-01-07T15:39:00.005-06:00

Business, especially the financial aspect, is something that mosaic artists don't really talk about in public. Or even really quietly to each other. We all keep it very confidential. Art isn't like being a plumber or mechanic where there's an industry standard; cost of the part + $xx/hr for labor = THE BILL. Art pricing is based on the vision in your head, the design process to get it out of your head and onto the substrate; plus all the various materials to be used and then, there's the labor, which can be very intensive but it also encompasses your skill level. A first year neophyte isn't going to command the same price as an experienced artist with 20 years behind her. Which mechanic would you rather have working on your car? OK, so we tend to think our work is worth more because of all the bits and pieces that get added up. I don't think that's a wrong assumption exactly but it makes it difficult for a beginner to determine pricing on their work. I've been struggling with this myself for months now and it's not getting any easier.

We've already determined that my work is not going to fetch Sonia King, Lynne Chinn or Martin Cheek prices. For that matter, my work won't fetch the same prices as the majority of the members in the Austin Mosaic Guild. I'm just not at their skill level; I've only been doing this a year and it is what it is. However, I have set some very reasonable prices for my work but didn't get that either, which led to some "Rejection Depression." I've gotten over it, too. Let me just say that I've learned a considerable amount in the last year. As much as it irritates me to say so, Location is Everything. It's also just as important to know your market demographics, especially in your chosen location. That applies to all types of items being sold from stepping stones to belt buckles and jewelry. Location is more important than pricing because if your work isn't in the right location, you might as well give it away. More on this later...

With limited financial resources and the economy in the toilet, I'm doing my best to eke out a living. Last summer I rented booth space in a local gift shop. Rent wasn't much and the space is nicely sized. I chose an aisle end-cap so I didn't have to share wall space with someone else. It's much easier to showcase my art when there's nothing on either side to distract or detract from the art itself. It's been an enlightening experience and run the gamut of emotions. In a antique/gift shop, people expect to pay Wal-Mart and Hobby Lobby prices for hand-made custom art unless it's really old or signed by Grandma Moses or both and that's completely unreasonable. I did sell some well-priced stepping stones this past summer but my other artwork, the wall art, didn't sell there at all. I removed every last piece of mosaic artwork from the gift shop and moved it down the street to Sol'stice Garden Expressions. The booth is now devoted to vintage and general home decor items. The year long lease ends in April.

My art is much happier at Sol'stice because the place is chock full of paintings, sculptures, furniture and every other conceivable kind of art you can imagine. It's all very beautiful and all very expensive. Last year when I moved everything to Chris's shop, his commission was at 70/30, the best anywhere around, AND there was no lease to sign either! The new year has brought new a commission at 60/40. I do realize this is typical for virtually all consignments shops. I am NOT complaining about Chris or any other consignment store; I want to make that crystal clear. I've helped run a small business and know all about the expenses incurred while doing it. It's also one of the reasons why my partners and I sold the company. It's an expensive prospect to run a business and make it profitable enough to support yourself. However, I am complaining about the consignment system itself, and that's for ALL items being consigned anywhere. There is a real lack of options for budding artists like myself. I want to help others learn from my mistakes and to help myself become a better artist, which will help me become a better business person, too. Besides, I'm just like everyone else and want to keep more of the money in my own pocket. With commissions and booth rental, it's been sad how little I've made on my own artwork. Prepare yourself for that aspect when you choose to walk this broken glass path. It's slow going and you just might starve.

So now, I'm looking at other ways to sell my artwork. I've taken a quick look at Etsy and I'm waiting for responses to the queries I've sent out to my friends. Doing my best to research before I leap these days. eBay is not the best place to sell expensive artwork unless it's signed by Monet. Local fairs are another way to make some money and I'll be checking into the ones that are held in my area; Founder's Day, Wimberley Trade Days and the huge Pecan Street Festival in downtown Austin. Plus, there's the allure of having my very own website. I do have one but there's nothing on it yet. It requires me to pick a free template and design it myself, pay for a nice template and design it myself or pay to have someone else do it for me. My head is spinning, my hives are itching me to death but most important of all, I really need a nap!

I'll keep you posted on my great art sales adventure. It's bound to be entertaining and fraught with wrong turns but hey, the journey is half the fun, right? Sure! So just follow me but not too closely so I don't lose you in a pitfall.

Under the Weather

2010-11-21T10:37:00.002-06:00

The wings were done and I had moved on to the grass and twigs and the flowers. Just started placing them, too. This was a dragonfly commission for my stepsister Deborah's Christmas present. On Friday, it fell and broke into pieces. It was heart-breaking but knowing I couldn't salvage it helped so I didn't spend time agonizing over how to fix it. Emotionally, I moved on from this in relatively short time. I'm so glad I started it early in case of problems. Now I still have time to make another one. But even that disaster hasn't managed to completely break through a general malaise I've been suffering with for weeks/months.

I haven't felt well for a long time now and some days during the past couple of months were pretty bad. Daily migraines, hives, joint pain (especially in my right hand, wrist & shoulder) and a progressing sensitivity to light have all conspired to make my life extremely unpleasant. I'm finally feeling somewhat better but emotionally, I'm drained. I haven't had much inspiration for creating anything with all this beautiful glass, the pretty beads or gorgeous smalti.

Considering all the symptoms, I don't believe it will be difficult to come up with a diagnosis of Lupus. I didn't put it together until the hives just started driving me crazy with the itching. They always start in my ears, too. What is up with that??? Anyway, the hives coupled with this progressive worsening of light sensitivity was what finally sealed the deal, in my mind anyhow. Went over to WebMD (great place, btw) and looked at the list of possible culprits. I figured it was just a stress thing until I saw the photophobia. Yep, I dislike bright lights because I do know that they're going to cause me to have a migraine. I HATE to get behind someone with a rear windshield that slants just right. It's like it beams the sun directly into my right eye piercing my head with a railroad spike. In moments, I've got a killer migraine. Wish my sunglasses were darker and wrapped around the sides! Now, I just need a formal diagnosis so I can get whatever medications will get this under control. Maybe it will give back my energy and enthusiasm that I've been seriously lacking in recent weeks. I sure hope so. I'm tired of being tired. The lack of focus has made it difficult to stay on task, too.

As I pull myself out of this dark hole I've been living in, I'll try to get back into the blogging mode as well. Everything has just sort of stopped in its tracks - me, in particular. I'll try to do better from now on. I think knowing, or suspecting, will make it easier for me. We'll see. Wish me luck and I'll let you know when I get more information.

Tired and Uninspired

2010-08-17T20:32:00.000-05:00

I haven't been sleeping well and waking up extra early has left me tired and out of sorts; also, I've been uninspired. So, I've been taking pictures and hoping one of them will inspire me to create something beautiful.

The other night I was putting the trash bin out and nearly walked face first into a huge orb weaver web. Spiders don't particularly bother me and long as they don't "bother" me. This guy was huge! His body was the size of a quarter; he had really hairy legs and was creeping me out just hanging there upside down. I came inside grabbed the camera and took a couple of pictures. Then I had to known if he was a good spider or a bad spider. If he was fatally poisonous, then his life was forfeit. He looked like he might be so I had to know. I googled nocturnal spiders and discovered he's an orb weaver and non-toxic to humans. Cool, he got a reprieve, unless he came in the house.

I had noticed the over-abundance of webs in the trees around the house lately and these orb weavers seem to be responsible. After taking multiple photos, I finally got inspired to create my own interpretation of an orb weaver web.

I love the iridescence of their webs in the morning sunlight. It looks so fragile but I read that their webs are quite strong; I believe it. I hope I can do it justice. Mother Nature and her creatures kick some serious butt in the art department!

Dealing with Disaster

2010-08-05T19:01:00.001-05:00

My beautiful "Life's a Beach" GOG landscape cracked on me the other night. I was devastated and it left me seriously depressed. I've put so much work into this piece and for it to be ruined in a heartbeat like that made me want to cry. It's not a masterpiece but it is truly gorgeous. I've used some wonderful textured stained glass in a variety of colors. Now to be clear, this is made from scrap stained glass. This glass is leftover scrap from various projects and is what remains after the artist cut pieces she wanted out of the original sheet. Usually a ring saw is used to cut out specific pieces to complete a design. Scrap glass is sold by the pound at my favorite glass store in north Austin, Artisan Glass. The store is run by Linda Oliveira and when she can, Dianne Sonnenberg.

Since the crack, I've avoided working on that specific piece and barely touched it, even to take pictures of it. I really did think it was ruined and ready for the trash can until a fellow mosaic artist friend on Flickr gave me a solution. All I need to do is get the appropriate size piece of glass and glue it to the back of the piece. Well, why didn't I think of that??? Mary Foley - bless her heart of gold - is something of a marvel when it comes to mosaics anyway but when she offered up a way to salvage my work, I was thrilled, ecstatic and ready to sacrifice a small child in her honor. (just kidding, of course!) Mary claims to be new to mosaics but she works circles around most of us. Her experience and knowledge saved my butt on this one and I'll be indebted to her forever but I can live with that.

One Thing Leads to Another

2010-08-01T17:46:00.008-05:00

July was a very busy month for me. My brother-in-law business partner and I worked our butts off to get our joint venture off the ground. We haven't chosen a name for that business yet but we're creating a whole range of outdoor lights, including lighted stepping stones. I haven't been slacking; I was just more involved with that portion of my life.

For awhile, we couldn't get anything to work out the way we envisioned it. We experimented with resins, polymers, cement mixtures, tints and mold compounds. Things finally started coming together in a more cohesive manner and appear to work the way they're supposed to. We'll see...

Now you might wonder what an outdoor lighting system business has to do with creating mosaics in general. Well, all that experimenting with the various materials got the blood pumping to create my own clay polymer & tinted resin beads, basic molds (for stepping stones, crosses, concrete outdoor planters, bird baths and garden spheres) and anything else that comes to mind. Thanks so much to Sherrie Warner Hunter for sharing all her knowledge and experience in her books Making Concrete Garden Ornaments by Sherrie Warner Hunter

and Creative Concrete Garden Ornaments for the Garden: Making Pots, Planters, Birdbaths, Sculpture & More by Sherrie Warner Hunter Those books have been invaluable. I've learned so much this past month and want to put that new knowledge to use. Yesterday, I spent quite a bit of time creating simulated "smalti" with clay bits. Some tinted, some not; painted a few but they leave something to be desired; so next, I'll be experimenting with nail polish for a glossy finish. These clay bits will be used on a terracotta frog planter I'll be mosaicing in the very near future.

Before the frog planter, though, I'm going to attempt my first mosaic using thinset. I've been dissatisfied using the direct mosaic method because glass isn't always the same thickness either; so, my supposedly "flat" pieces look like a Ruffles potato chip. It's finally gotten on my last nerve. This morning I bought thinset and admix and I'm going to create a new stepping stone using the indirect method. If the indirect stepping stone turns out well, I'll move on to the frog planter. Wish me luck!

Happiness is a Grouted Damselfly

2010-07-04T12:38:00.001-05:00

Grouted the damselfly last Thursday night (July 1) and I'm very pleased with the way he turned out. The grout was exactly what it needed to bring out the best in this piece. I'm so glad I didn't give up on him or allow my attitude to drown out everything good about the piece. Although I know every fault with the wings and every other little thing that I know I did wrong, I have grown to love it precisely because of all those imperfections. Also, my eyes focus on all those mistakes while others only see the beauty. This has become my favorite stepping stone and I'm quite proud of him.

A post I read in the MAO group this morning and my response to it prompted me to come make this post. And Solana, if you happen to make your way here, just take a look at my Flickr page and you'll see that I'm just a babe in the woods with this mosaic stuff and make all kinds of mistakes. But I learn more that way and I'm OK with that; I just do my best. Well, I do have fun, too!

When is a Dragonfly not a Dragonfly?

2010-06-26T13:56:00.000-05:00

When it's a damselfly. I've spent the last few days working on my newest project, a damselfly, that I've wrongly and repeatedly referred to as a dragonfly. Simplified, a typical dragonfly's eyes are close together and appear to touch; their rear wings are smaller than their fore wings. A damselfly's eyes are separated; their fore wings and rear wings are similar in appearance and approximately the same length. So now we both know the basic differences.

My damselfly is based on a typical blue male but I haven't done his colors justice. And I seem to have reversed his wing structure when I made the pattern and glued the pieces on the stepping stone. arrrghhhh... I HATE when that happens!

The flat plane of the wing is on top and the bottom side of the wing is fuller and more curved. Nothing I can do about it now, of course, but lesson learned. Next time I will get it right. Also, instead of the solid piece of mirror glass, I will break it down and incorporate smaller pieces into the wing detail. I changed direction in the middle of this project and did so with unsatisfactory results; at least as far as I'm concerned anyway. Because I know the faults in this piece, I'm not thrilled with it but hope that the final results will turn out better than I expect.

Quandary

2010-06-15T23:49:00.000-05:00

The Key to My Heart project is nearly finished but I'm not sure that I'm satisfied with the way it's turned out. I added the last touch to it last night and it's had all night and day to cure. It just doesn't seem secure and I'm afraid that it will come apart with very little handling. After this newest round of glue and another night of curing, I'll take pictures tomorrow to show the potential problem with the piece. In the meantime, I'll be thinking of other ways to secure it. I've already considered grouting it but I'm thinking that maybe I should've used thinset to start with. One of things that makes you go "hmm..."

Regardless, I'll have to figure something out because the more I think about it, the less content I am with it. I've learned very quickly if you're not happy with something - do it over. If you don't, you'll pick it to pieces in your head and kick yourself for not doing it "right."

Excuse me, there's something I need to go do...

Looking for New Inspiration

2010-06-14T23:29:00.002-05:00

When you're at a loss for an idea and you see someone's mosaic dog, cat or pink elephant is it considered "inspiration" or "theft" if you decide to make one as well? You know full well that what you create isn't going to be anything like theirs. It's the concept that you're inspired by, not the actual pink elephant itself. Sometimes I feel a tad bit guilty for taking another person's concept and creating my own vision of it. Original concepts or ideas are difficult to come up with, though. Most of the time, you'll find it's already been done, a quick search and you'll see what I mean.

Speaking of... I often spend hours looking at pictures on the image search page. Even if someone has already used my idea, I still look through the pictures to see if anyone came close to what I visualized. Other times, I'll plug in a word - summer, for instance - and then start combing through the pictures for something that jumps out at me that I can turn into a mosaic. Saturday afternoon was Rose Window day. I saved copies of some of my favorites and I'll study them for a while. There's no rush; I have a long way to go before I could even attempt a Rose Window of any kind.

Inspiration is wherever you find it. Just be inspired!

Paint Wash on Grout

2010-06-13T23:02:00.000-05:00

I've been working on a project that just begged for a tinted grout - red grout - specifically. OK, so I tinted the grout and it came out a lovely light PINK! Not exactly what I had in mind. I did have pictures but seem to have deleted them all - oops! All right, so now what? Unhappy with the color, I decided to try a technique that a Flickr friend uses with good results - paint washing on grout. First, let me just say that Mary creates phenomenal work so I'd be happy to make something that looks half as good. I looked around for some detailed information on how to mix up the paint. I found various formulas saying to mix the paint with water in a 2:1 or 1:1 ratio depending on how thin or heavy a coat you desire. I wanted to do a light wash in case I hated it or it came out looking like it had been painted. For me, that would be the equivalent of slapping a coat of paint on a brick wall. Yes, it serves a purpose but it looks like crap.

I mixed the paint and water in a 2:1 ratio so it would be somewhat thin. It looks fine but it's still pink, just an intense, darker pink now. I'm going to go over it again with a 1:1 ratio and see if I can get the color right this time. If not, I'm going to call it good and let it go. That's harder for me to do than it sounds because I'm so critical of my work and I tend to be harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. Don't know if that's because others don't want to hurt my feelings or if I've got higher expectations of me than they do.

All right, I tried a second paint wash but couldn't see a difference from the first attempt. At that point, I called it done and painted the outside of the heart a candy apple red. It will take a couple of days for the paint to thoroughly dry and harden before I can add the finishing touches. Here's the most current look at work-in-progress Key to My Heart:

It's very personal to me so I'm anxious to see it completed. I'll post pictures later this week.

My friend Mary over at Flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/poppins/

Mary's GOG (glass on glass) works are absolutely beautiful and I promise you won't be disappointed. Go on, have a look!

From Mixed Nuts to Mélange Art Glass

2010-06-11T12:03:00.001-05:00

Not all change is bad. Yes, I realize that Mixed Nuts was supposed to be an assortment and that mélange means assortment or mix; so, in a way, things really haven't changed that much. I've just narrowed the focus a bit from everything to art glass. Now I'll be talking about what I'm learning (sometimes on a daily basis), trying new techniques and showing the results of my efforts. For example, the Log Cabin Sun-Catcher at the top of the page is a recent creation of mine.

I hope you won't be disappointed in what you find here now. This is only another stone in the path on the way to the future.

Quote for the Day

2010-05-27T14:51:00.005-05:00

"The road we walk is built with the stones that scar our feet." ~~~Tamoe Gozen in Riverworld

Heard this in the movie "Riverworld" as being said by a nun near Kyoto. I searched for the author and couldn't find one. It's a good quote, though, and makes you think about where you've been and where you're headed; I have no idea. Presently, my feet are set upon a path of independence from the rat race. I figured if I was responsible for myself and my livelihood then I should take on that responsibility fully. I've begun telling people that I'm self-employed, a small business owner. I am sole proprietor of my business and I make pretty things out of stained glass and other bits and pieces of the world around me. On Monday, I move my small inventory of finished handmade, custom artglass into a booth space I've leased. I have no idea how it's going to work out but I'm tired of my future and my life depending on others. This is just the beginning and I look forward to the future for the first time in a very long time.

Blech... I Have Been INFECTED!

2010-02-05T11:11:00.004-06:00

A couple of days ago I was in the company of my brother-in-law who somewhat gleefully informed me that he was sick with a stomach virus that had gone through his family like grease through a goose, as my grandmother used to say. Then he had the unmitigated gall to touch me. It was only the pointy end of his pointing finger but I swear it was enough to infect me with germs just looking for fertile ground in which to breed. Today, I have a headache; I'm sort of fuzzy around the edges and my stomach has declared war on the rest of my body.

Although my survival is questionable, I do have a goal. If I live, I'm going to give this crap back to him - just as soon as I can lift my head off my pillow. For now... shhh! I want to be able to hear myself suffer in peace.

Emotional Chaos meets Elbow Macaroni and Glue

2010-02-02T17:02:00.009-06:00

I slammed face first into a wall today. Metaphorically speaking, that is; so physically, I'm fine. Settle down with your beverage of choice and enjoy the ride. Remember, it's not you.

This is not the first time I've experienced these lost, directionless feelings. But right now, I'm so out of sorts because I've got a mixed bag of emotions running rampant through me and I'm doing my best to acknowledge them and "own" them. I want so much to be a success now that I've chosen the path I want to follow. But after looking at those I greatly admire, and want more than anything to be just like them when I grow up, I realize that I'm such a neophyte. Maybe I shouldn't have looked at their work right now when I'm feeling so overwhelmed with choices and media to play around with but also feeling so underwhelmed with my own ability to produce something half as beautiful. Everything I do now is being scrutinized for flaws and errors. I'm not enjoying myself but that's why I decided to create art glass in the first place. I wanted to work with buttons and beads; ribbon and paint; and colored glass tiles, mirrored tiles, stained glass and anything that caught my fancy. But right this moment, I feel like a kindergartner gluing macaroni to sheets of construction paper and all the while, DaVinci is across the room creating the Vitruvian Man.

Somewhere inside I know I'm better than this but right now, at this very moment, I'm literally terrified that I'm going to fail as an artist; I'm paralyzed with self-doubt and can't for the life of me turn around and finish a piece I started a couple of days ago. Fortunately I found some resources that have been, and will continue to be, invaluable. One major resource is http://grouplyahoo.com/group/mosaicartistsorg/ They have a wonderful database of information with tips, hints and tricks to make my life easier and a links page where I found the amazing Dianne Sonnenberg, who teaches classes at Artisan Stained Glass http://artisanglass.us and I'm going to take a couple. I need a support group that can give me encouragement and immediate feedback. It will also help tremendously for me to get out of the house and meet people with similar interests. I've been informed that I need to start dating. And now I have a headache, too.

Putting it all "out there" seems to have loosened that band around my chest choking the life out of me and making it difficult to breathe. Yes, I know it was a panic attack and that blogging is cathartic. But once in a while, I need to say these things out loud, or write them down for the world to see, because it keeps me grounded, focused and in touch with my inner child that still needs approval and to have her work validated. Today she was throwing a temper tantrum.

I'm going to share a few of my favorite mosaic artists with you now and hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

http://gnomenclaturestudios.com / - Dianne Sonnenberg, a local Austin artist

www.chrislongart.com Be sure to check out his Facebook page as well

http://carolblakecoolart.com/index.htm Carol Sackman and Blake White are doing the fun stuff

You'll find many more wonderful artists over on the mosaic group at Yahoo. Share your favorites with me. And if you're creating something wonderful, I'd like to know if you had your own moments of self-doubt and how you got through them.

Closing the Doors of the "Dollhouse"

2010-01-29T18:51:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite shows of the last 2 years has come to an end tonight. I find that sad because I've grown to really like these people, even if they don't exist. It's a little late to give you a cast of characters with a brief life story so I won't. Maybe if I'd done that sooner, Dollhouse wouldn't have ended its short-lived run tonight; however, I've discovered that I don't like the same mainstream shows that everyone else seems to be crazy about. What makes that unfortunate is that my favorite shows tend to get canceled while everyone else's shows continue to plod along, business as usual. Kudos, though, to the studio execs for giving a head's up so Joss Whedon could wrap up the series for the fans and give us closure. That's more than we got when TPTB pulled the plug on my all-time favorite TV series, Firefly.

I'll be looking for these actors in new shows in the coming year and hope they land somewhere wonderful - maybe a new Joss Whedon creation. I'm a fan, not just of the characters, but of the actor's skill that made me love them all; Adele, Boyd, Echo, Paul, Topher, Victor, and Sierra. The love extends to recurring characters as well; November, Alpha, Bennett, Whiskey/Dr.Saunders and all the others that passed through the doors of the Dollhouse. I'm so sorry to see you go and look forward to seeing you again - soon.

Holiday Hangover

2009-12-27T14:25:00.005-06:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and was fortunate enough to share the day with loved ones.

Today, though, I'm suffering from Holiday Hangover. I've got many things that I need to do but don't have the energy or the motivation to get up and do. Due to an unexpected incident, my cable needs to be repaired; I need to exchange a Christmas present and Ryan needs to do some shopping for himself and his girlfriend. Caffeine has not helped my lack of desire to move from the recliner and take of business.

Is there a cure for Holiday Hangover? I should look into that but for now, I'm just going to think about it for a while longer...

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends & Family

2009-11-26T18:54:00.003-06:00

I hope everyone had a happy holiday filled with food, fun and laughter.

Changing Seasons, Changing Color Palettes

2009-11-14T23:50:00.003-06:00

In the spirit of changing seasons, I've decided to change the colors of my blog. I'm unhappy with the limited color palette offered but this will have to do for now. It's about as Autumn as I can make it. I really need to learn html.

It's Veteran's Day - Thank a Soldier!

2009-11-11T13:29:00.006-06:00

It's Veteran's Day once again and time to give thanks to those who have served and are serving in the country's armed forces. Politics aside, it's a brave and heroic thing these people do when they gear up and go out to defend a convoy, a city or a country. Being a soldier often requires the ultimate sacrifice and we often forget that as we go about our daily lives because we don't see it up close and personal here on American soil. We forget until something, or someone, reminds us in the most brutal, up close and in our faces personal way.

Today we remember.

Somewhere in your life, you know someone who has served or is serving; your spouse, child, sibling, parent, uncle, teacher or neighbor. Don't let the day end without doing them a service. Tell them Thank You!

To my dad who served in the Korean War - I Love you and Thank you!

Hang in There, Honduras!

2009-07-24T07:52:00.005-05:00

Hats off to the small country of Honduras for sticking to their guns in the face of extraordinary controversy. The backlash from the world has been tremendous but the Honduran government has remained stoic. Talk about your peer pressure! This takes it to a whole new level. It seems the world is trying to force the country of Honduras to reinstate their ousted president. He was removed from office and escorted out of the country for attempting to have an unauthorized vote on a referendum to change the Honduran Constitution, which would allow him to stay in office beyond his legal term limit decreed within that constitution. In the articles of the constitution, it also plainly states that his "intentions" will also be grounds for immediate removal from office. When someone takes over the government of a country, or tries, it's called a coup. How is this any different? Zelaya attempted a coup of the Honduran government by trying to circumvent the law and his country's constitution and was immediately from the office of the presidency. The Honduran Supreme Court ruled according to the articles of their constitution and the Honduran military carried out the orders as stated. That should have been the end of the story. So why is the world so dead set against this one small country for only doing what their constitution was designed by the people to do? My personal opinion: This scares the living daylights out of the leaders of the free world because any one of them could be next. When one tiny country is determined to live by the rules of law they created, just imagine what a bigger country could accomplish if they set their minds to it and took back the country from the usurpers and moneylenders. Now there's a thought!

Michael Jackson: A Love/Hate Relationship

2009-07-06T10:45:00.003-05:00

Michael Jackson like Elvis Presley is a name known around the world. I believe everyone has at least heard of him and formed an opinion. You either love him or hate him. There doesn't seem to be much middle ground where he's concerned. Right now, you can't turn on the TV or radio, read a newspaper or magazine and not see his face or hear his music. Sadly this global pop icon died suddenly and unexpectedly last week and that's the why we're being inundated with everything Michael Jackson.

I'm an MJ fan and have been a fan my whole life. He was only 4 years older than me, after all; so, we sort of grew up together. His music always made me feel. Ben was one of those sweet songs that made you believe you had a true friend through thick and thin. It was years before I knew "Ben" was a rat. I'll Be There was another song that made you feel like you weren't alone. Songs like Beat It and Man in the Mirror helped form my social consciousness. And sometimes, his music just made me happy - Rockin' Robin, Enjoy Yourself and Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground) come to mind. Yes, some of them were recorded as part of the Jackson 5 but it was Michael's voice that gave them life. His Thriller album, which I own on vinyl by the way, changed everything the minute MTV started playing those music videos. Who could forget the first time they saw the Thriller video on MTV? And what girl didn't want to be a PYT?

It hasn't always been politically correct to admit liking Michael Jackson. His troubles with the law, including accusations of being a pedophile, and a general descent into weirdness have kept many from admitting to being a fan. It's amazing to me how being an MJ fan commits one to condoning sexual abuse of a child. I've never understood the logic of that thought process but there are millions out there that make that intellectual leap of logic every day. As far as I know, Michael Jackson was never convicted in a court of law. I was not at any court proceeding nor was I privvy to any of the court documents. I cannot make an informed judgement without having the facts. Yet, people the world over have judged and condemned him in the court of public opinion daily. Some day we'll all know the truth, whatever it may be, but until then, we need to rediscover the American adage of 'innocent until proven guilty' instead of the French rule of 'guilty until proven innocent.'

Whether or not Michael is/was guilty does not change or detract from the immense talent of the man. MJ has left his mark on the world and I, for one, am glad that I got to experience that incredible talent when his star shone brightest.

A Test of Faith

2009-04-18T17:18:00.004-05:00

Ryan has been sick off and on for months with what appeared to be a cold, or possibly the flu, that he just couldn't seem to shake off. I've talked to him several times since Christmas - he was here and sick then, too - and he's been hoarse sounding on multiple occasions. He's often tired and sleeps a lot. He's thin because he can't ever seem to gain any weight even though he eats like a horse. Ryan is my son; he's 19 years old and going to college at the University of North Texas. He's so young and like all young men in college and away from home for the first time, he stays up too late hanging out with his friends, drinking and smoking; he's too young to have to worry about his health. Ryan was recently diagnosed with Generalized Lymphadenopathy, which is swollen lymph nodes in two or more areas. It sounds ominous and it can be extremely bad but it doesn't have to be fatal. Various causes range from Hodgkin's Disease to leukemia to lymphoma and TB to Mono to Hyperthyroidism. Ryan is going to have a biopsy Monday afternoon. I'm not sure how long it will take the results to come back but I believe they will find the cause to be Mono, or possibly hyperthyroidism. I have faith that Ryan will have something benign and treatable.

We've prayed for him and his Grandpa George has claimed a healing on Ryan's behalf. If I hadn't spent years growing up around my Cherokee grandmother, the claiming of a healing might seem like hocus pocus but I've seen her do some wondrous things that just can't be explained. So, to me, claiming a healing doesn't sound any more unusual or different than asking a friend to lend a hand with a task; and I suppose, in a sense, it isn't any different.

My son claims to be an atheist according to his religion preference on his MySpace page. I wonder if that will change and if it does, will it be a lasting change. I don't preach religion to my kids, in case you're wondering. They've made their own choices, based on what they've learned, for themselves. My daughter, Erin, is a believer and has gone to church regularly in the past. I think Ryan's choice has more to do with his father than anything else. His dad was agnostic when we were married but he's gone completely atheist since that time. I could be wrong, too. We've never really discussed it but I have a feeling we will in the near future.

Please pray for Ryan and for me. Pray that his test results are clean and pray for me to have the courage to face whatever happens next. Thank you.

A Day for Reflection

2009-03-24T11:11:00.005-05:00

Rain drips from the eaves while birds flit from limb to limb and the cat watches with coiled intensity. How is it that we can observe the world around us and be so blind to it at the same time? We look at the lives of others and know exactly what's wrong and usually don't hesitate to tell them about it. It's when we look closely at our own lives that we tend to shy away from the harsh truths. We can't withstand those deeper delvings into all the flotsam and jetsam that passes for thoughts and emotions. The real guts of us that we try to hide when we think someone's looking. The stuff we drag out in the middle of the night as we're falling asleep and poke at with a sharp stick to see if it's going to hurt us in the dark. Well, guess what - it BITES.

Epiphany: My life is filled with small, meaningless pursuits that keep me entertained so I don't notice the emptiness. During a conversation recently, I stated that "I have no joy in my life. I have moments of happiness but I'm discontented and restless." My discussion partner concluded that my joyless life needed God to make everything better. God...what does that mean - I need God in my life to give me joy?

My initial reaction to this pronouncement was disturbing. Immediate denial; later, I examined that denial to find the truth of it. Religion makes me cringe; I can't abide most of the trappings of organized religion. I believe in a Supreme Being whether that being is called God, Allah or Ra; I don't believe it matters because they're all connected - one and the same. Every culture around the world has at least one Supreme Being and some have more than one. The Mayans had many Gods and Kukulcan, the feathered serpent, has been tied to Atlantis's Tehuti, Egypt's Thoth, Sumer's Enki and Peru's Quetzalcoatl. I don't believe in coincidence either. Our cultures define for us by what name we call our god.

Religious ceremony and rites also give me pause. Sacrificing virgins? Goats and chickens? Blood and life sacrifices are beyond my comprehension because I don't truly understand the purpose of them. I suppose if I knew what lay beyond the death of the physical body I might understand it. A release of the spirit into the next world, that I get. I have many thoughts on this but that's for another time. Meditation and prayer makes sense to me. Clearing the mind allows for peace and calm to enter the body, driving away the stress, and opening the mind to greater possibilities within ourselves. Prayer has many functions: to say thanks, to ask for help, to praise, to ask forgiveness. Preaching bothers me, especially the old-fashioned hellfire and damnation sermons. Old Testament preachers (southern Baptist, revival tent preachers from my childhood come to mind) stand at their pulpits, thumping their Bibles, shouting about sinners and point accusing fingers at the congregation. Are you going to HELL?! they shout. New Testament preachers teach their followers the lessons of Jesus during his time on earth before he sacrificed himself for us sinners. Another sacrifice and more blood. Reconciling the two halves of the Bible has always been a problem for me. Suffice it to say, that I'm a believer in the teachings of love and forgiveness without judgment. To me, love and forgiveness without judgment means there is hope - hope for a better tomorrow, a better world, a better afterlife.

Years ago, I rejected the pissed off God for a loving God that forgives sinners like me. So few people are able to lead lives without sin of some kind. In fact, I don't know anyone that doesn't sin, one way or another. We are doomed to failure from the day we're born as humans. Human nature, in and of itself, presents a daily struggle to suppress our baser instincts in order to attain a more God-like spirit. Mostly, we fail at this. We lust and envy; we are prideful and wrathful. The best we can hope for is to be forgiven for our faults and allowed to pass into a better world. If it were otherwise, I'd have thrown in the towel long ago.

Now all that brings me back to my current situation. My simple mind took that statement about needing God and created a formula that gave me an answer I could accept without reservation. For many years, I've equated God with love. So, God is Love. God = Love. Ah ha! I'm missing Love from my life. If I had love in my life, I would find my joy again because love is about sharing and there is no joy if there's no one to share my life.

Damn, I wish it would quit raining. All this introspection depresses me.

One Week at a Time

2009-03-06T07:37:00.004-06:00

We made it another week. Maybe that's all we can do right now and if so, then so be it. Now the goal is to keep the doors open till next Friday. One week at a time.

I'm still sort of shell-shocked at how things have been going. And it's not just us. The "big" companies are having their own problems and when things go bad for them, it affects us as well. Recently, AMD had some issues come to light when the Sheriff's office sent deputies out to enforce a lock-out of the employees due to non-payment of property taxes. It cost AMD $8.8 million to get those doors open and people back to work. Of course in the last two weeks, AMD also announced a layoff of 35% of its Austin workforce; that's 1200 employees locally. I'm notoriously bad at math but my numbers say 420 people lost their jobs. And that's not all, when vendors submitted invoices for payment on open purchase orders, those vendors were informed the POs had been closed out. Now follow me here - Imagine you're a small company and your largest customer is AMD and they've just informed you that they aren't going to pay their bills. What? They owe you thousands of dollars! You can't pay your vendors who are also clamoring for their money; the bank wants payment for the line of credit they extended to you a couple of months ago when AMD refused to pay any invoices during December; and aside from all of that, you have your own bills to pay, which are already late, and your employees know that getting a paycheck might not happen this week or even this month. How do you not lose hope that everything will work out? How do you keep from throwing in the towel and saying "I give up"? Coming from someone who's watching all this from the playing field, my answer is simple: I don't have a clue but as long as the door's open and the lights are on, we'll be there - one week at a time.

NOTE: We are NOT the small company mentioned above but we know them and know all this to be true.

Need an Angel and One Very Small Miracle

2009-02-27T08:39:00.006-06:00

Our business is not just struggling but flailing wildly. In the (almost) six years we've been in business, it's never been this bad. We've always managed to keep the doors open. Since Christmas we've said, "If we can just make it one more month, we'll be ok." Well, I'm not sure we're going to make it another month. Nobody's building anything right now and it's literally killing us. Those that have new silicon coming out have pushed the dates back another month. I hope we're still here.

It's really sad that we've been doing this for so long - 6 years come May - and we can't hold on long enough to finally get that one big contract after all these years. Two more months and we could be out of the woods for at least the next four to five years. But lately, I don't know from one day to the next. It's a good business with solid, loyal customers and some great assets. We just need an angel investor to take us under their wing and give us some hope or one very small miracle.

Cross your fingers and pray for us (or whatever it is you do.) I am.

Well, Crap! It's Definitely Friday the 13th...

2009-02-13T09:12:00.004-06:00

GRRRR!!! Had my first screw up this morning and deleted some of my posts by accident. It won't kill me but damn, it pisses me off. Back-up of some kind. Must be a way to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Incident #2: I've been following links off a certain website to view related sites and articles. No big deal in most cases, except today of all days, I had a link take me to a sub-page on the Aryan Nation website. WTF??? Un-freakin'-believeable! There was nothing about the link I followed to suggest I was going to a site or page I would never otherwise visit. Maybe I should just stay home today...

Global Warming or Global Scam?

2009-02-06T18:02:00.008-06:00

Do you believe global warming is really happening? Why do you believe this or why don't you believe it? Just for the record, I don't believe in global warming. My personal belief is that we're in the early stages of a new Ice Age. The last one only took 10 years to transistion; so, we're well on our way. Recorded average temperatures have dropped over the last decade. The last Ice Age also lasted for about 10,000 years so dig out your thermal undies, if you haven't done so already. All right, lets hear your thoughts on climate change - real or imagined? Hot or cold? Where do you think we're headed?

Isn't She a Doll?

2009-02-01T23:10:00.010-06:00

I discovered RogueDolls by Picara amid the picture pool for The Secret Life of Toys at Flickr. I'm a total noob when it comes to Picara and her work but I'm willing to learn. Picara creates her one of a kind RogueDolls from Blythe dolls that she customizes by hand. I know very little of how she does the work but she carves, sands, paints, weaves and dresses these little masterpieces in the most fascinating ways. I could sing praises about her creativity for hours but I'm just going to post some pictures and a couple of links and let you discover how wonderful she is all by yourself.

These photos are from the last doll she sold via eBay. SteamP unk Girl was awesome and I'd love one for myself just so I sould admire her work whenever I wished. Alas, Picara is too rich for my blood. Some day, though...

I do hope that you enjoy Picara and her RogueDolls as much as I do.

What Can You Do For Your Country?

2009-01-25T20:56:00.011-06:00

Barack Obama has the answer to that question. It seems that the new president wants everyone to volunteer their time in service to this country. Obama believes we should all take 2 weeks off work and spend some time working with groups like Habitat for Humanity or Americorps or another organization that appeals to us. I'm not suggesting these aren't wonderful groups where you can volunteer your time helping others. This is not about them. This is about a very real piece of legislation that's coming, possibly by Sept. 11, 2009. Obama wants us to "voluntarily" serve for 2 weeks a year, except for the 18-24 year olds, which would likely serve a full year. The plan's strategy indicates that volunteer service would begin as early as kindergarten and continue through college, with credits to students based on time served. Obama's also going to enable more Americans to join the armed forces. I'd really like to know how he's going to do that since joining the army, or any armed forces unit, is already voluntary and fairly simple. You run down to the local recruitment office and sign up. As long as you have a diploma or GED, there shouldn't be a problem. The recruitment centers will even put your enlistment papers on hold and wait for you to pass the GED class, if you need to take it. How much easier could it get? Well, I guess since you're already going to serve your country in some capacity, you might as well serve in the military, right? It wouldn't surprise me at all to see the draft come back soon after this Serve America Act gets passed. I say the end of this year or early next year.

The word 'service' gets used quite a bit on the Be the Change website but why would it be necessary for Congress to vote on something that's voluntary? Aside from changing MLK's birthday to National Service Day, Obama plans to offer tax incentives to employers that give 'volunteers' the time off with pay. Now you can be pressured by your boss to 'volunteer' so the company gets a nice tax credit. Won't that be fun? But wait, that's not all! You're retired and enjoying your life of leisure; gardening, playing golf, and traveling. Well, I hate to break it to you but you're not exempt from this service plan either. Obama thinks you'll do nicely mentoring to young minds that can benefit from your experience and wisdom. And because he thinks so much of our senior citizens, he's going to offer 'enhanced' incentives for a year's service and even establish an Encore Fellowship for those that would like to serve longer. Isn't that great? Now you'll be able to serve from kindergarten and all during your retirement. No worries about getting bored and not knowing what to do with yourself. Thank you, President Obama!

It all sounds good, in theory, but I have my reservations about it all. The cynic in me feels like this has been done before and it didn't work out so well for the Germans then either. Check out Service Nation and Be the Change for yourself. Read all about it and draw your own conclusions. Mine are based on the fact that I don't trust a politician as far as I can throw one.

Links for more info on Service Nation and Be the Change:

www.barackobama.com download the .pdf entitled: National Service Plan Fact Sheet

www.bethechangeinc.org

http://s3.amazonaws.com/btcreal/816/ServiceNation_Policy_Doc_Exec_Sum.pdf

http://s3.amazonaws.com/btcreal/856/SERVICENATION_POLICY_BOOK.pdf

Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report:
http://philanthropy.com/giveandtake/article/867/stephen-colbert-signs-declaration-of-servicesort-of be sure to watch the video from Comedy Central at the bottom of the page

My Inaugural Post

2009-01-18T01:59:00.000-06:00

In two short days, Barack Obama will do something no other black person, male or female, has ever done in this country's history. He will become the first black President of the United States. I'm ambivalent about it since I don't like politicians in general; however, I'd like to see Obama make a good showing. Not only is he going to represent the black people of this nation but now, he's going to represent me as well – a single, middle class, white woman. I sincerely hope that this man puts forth a face and a character that represents me and my idea of what this country should stand for. I want to be proud to be an American again because I’m not proud of the torture, humiliation and abuse of fellow human beings – regardless of their crimes – that has been done under the cloak of patriotism and in the name of the United States of America for the last 8 years. That was not me and those were not my principles being represented. Now maybe there’s a chance for the world to see the real me. So, how hard can it be? I want the world to see that I’m intelligent, compassionate, tolerant, giving, firm when necessary, hard if I have to be but fair; a wise and worthy leader and smart enough to know that I can’t do it without the help of good people to advise me. I believe I could live with that. I could hold my head up again and be proud.